Is it just me or is it majorly unattractive when a guy is a mama’s boy or his mother is all over him and treats him like a baby?
THE WINDOWS ARE OPEN IN MY HOUSE AND DOORS FROM EVERY FLOOR KEEP CREAKING OPEN OMG STOP IT’S FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT!
New York Times: Wow, you’re the best film of the year!
Great Gatsby film roll: Oh you! I bet you say that about all the movies!
If I get married, I’m going to make all the bridesmaids dresses super obnoxious and absurd looking and then never spend any time with them after that in fear that they’ll try and get me back.
…And then this mother fucker goes and uses himself for his senior quote in the yearbook.
At the end of Pocahontas when Ratcliffe aims his rifle at Powhatan, he kinda just stands there like, “Yeah, Ratty, go ahead and shoot. You’re bein’ the dick here if you kill me.”
And John Smith goes, “Noooooo!” and pushes him out of the way ‘n’ shit.
Like, why wasn’t everyone all, “Wow Powhatan, if you had just moved ya ass or somethin’, Johnny here wouldn’ta been half dead. Thanks. Prick.”
So my cousin bought a muffin one day and left it at home by accident. She couldn’t find it later and was like, “Eh, whatever.” Later she found out her little sister ate it. How, you ask? Her little sister posted a picture of it on instagram.
It doesn’t matter if he gives up drinking for her, or she gives up smoking for him. If he can’t give up being a prick to her nor she being a bitch to him, it’s not worth it for either.
If I were a stripper, I’d be the one working the Tuesday afternoon shift with the 3 losers who actually bother to show up throwing nickels at me, and doing all my routines to R. Kelly because they’re saving the good music for the attractive ones…